Not About Elephants or Clothing

There are 3 things that I never get tired of looking at in Thailand. Don’t expect to see beaches, buddhas or shimmy shimmy coco-whaaaaaaats on this list.  That’s actually not what I do every day.

Speaking of coconuts though, I did have one today that was the size of my head; closer to literally than figuratively and if you’ve ever taken a precocious 5 year old to the KC aquarium you would know that a falling coconut poses a greater threat to the general public than a Daddy Shark.  Or in the words of Keagan “Coconut fall, people die”.  So thank goodness I was dealing with a domesticated coconut.  The aquarium didn’t include this variety in their statistics but I presume they have fewer homicidal tendencies than their rowdy relatives.

I digress. Coconuts did not make the list.

#1.  power lines

It’s insanity.  Forget texting / selfie-ing and driving.  If I fail to gun it at the light change its because I’m deep into a head back, mouth gaping contemplation of how..HOW is working.  If you are questioning why the internet sucks or why you can’t use the fan and the rice cooker at the same time…this should answer your question.

#2. scout days

They all hate scouts. Too bad:-)
They all hate scouts. Too bad:-)

Hawaiian shirt Friday is a close second, but Wednesdays are what get me through the week.  The hats are unnecessary and uncomfortable and there are four different options.  Bucket hats only for girls, but boys can have the burgundy felt beret, a very flimsy cowboy hat, or a beanie with piping. Tassle socks and bandanas mandatory.  I love it.

hat and twig sword. These are the actual ones the kids use. Cost me $1.75
hat and twig sword. These are the actual ones the kids use. Cost me $1.75

Every Wednesday I pretend I’ve never noticed this attire before and they’re happy to tell me what it’s for and how much they hate it as if we don’t have this conversation every week.  If I can keep them on the subject long enough they may go get a large, red painted stick or sword like twig with a plastic handle.  The tools of the trade are not pursued with the same intricacy the uniforms are.  I’ve seen zero evidence to support the notion that these items “prepare” them for anything.  When do we get to play with fire.

#3. traveling bamboo broom salesmen

Every town in Thailand has dozens of them, scurrying around tooting their bicycle horns (the clown kind, not the bells) and dodging traffic on freeways frogger style without losing a hair of bamboo.  I desperately want a ride along with one of these guys.  What’s their best seller?  Do they have regulars? What about rival broom hawkers.  Do I smell sabotage?  Never do I want to be fluent in Thai as much as when I see one of these guys stop to talk with a ladder or bolster pillow salesman.  I want in.

“Please not worry” the Tourism Authority of Thailand would like to clarify that Phuket still has the best beaches and (second) biggest buddha but these are the little things that make my day and serve as a little reminder that…oh yeah…I live in Thailand, and stuffs a little weird here.

Love from Munchkinland,

Teacha Katie

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